2 /5 That Blu Spook: The nurses have been great, and I like the receptionist because even though I dont visit often, she checks me in quick and even did it for me from just seeing me yesterday for my appointment at 11:20. I checked in just after 11. The wait times suck a bit, but thats not the problem for me.
The problem is, I am a victim of domestic abuse from my mother. Dr. Lawrence has consistently over the last 5, this appointment being the 5th, appointments brought up me reconciling with my abusive mother and at one point spent 30 minutes of my appointment rambling about how I should talk to her, get back in touch, etc.
He compared me being abused to his parents getting a divorce and disregarding me saying its not happening each time. Even when I said she had pushed me to feel suicidal several times as a child. I even put a note in for my hystorectomy 3 and a half weeks ago to not bring her up, and he did so anyway. He mentioned her today, asking if I had crashed into her during the last few weeks while recovering, and I obviously said no.
He proceeded to tell me that mothers always know about stuff, and talked about patients he has had in the past who were going into labor talking about how they didnt talk to their mothers because they were alcoholic, abusive, were "crab apples", and that 5 minutes before they went into labor, the mothers of these patients would arrive because SOMEHOW someone texted and told them. This feels like its toeing the line of violating patient confidentiality by telling me that, and came off as a little mocking with how he was talking about patients not wanting to speak to their mothers for reasons that he clearly didnt view as important or valid.
He also checked on incisions from my hystorectomy (this was my Post-Op) and decided to get tweezers and scissors to deal with some of the leftover suture thread visible on top of the healing scar tissue. He proceeded to not even attempt to be gentle or careful in using the tweezers to pry some of them free so he could snip them off, and the healing scar tissue tore and bled in the small spots he was pinching with the tweezers. I was also vocal about the fact that it hurt, and he ignored me, opting to continue his rough handling of my incision using the tweezers, and its been hurting and uncomfortable since the appointment.
I was also deeply disturbed to see photos from my surgery that he didnt warn me about beforehand. He said he had some pictures to show me, I didnt realize he meant I would be seeing my innards in full color. Maybe I should have expected it, but I dont remember seeing anything like that at my last post-op with him a year ago.
By the end of the appointment, during the wrap up, he told me to send him a wedding announcement when I get married to my fiancee whenever that happens, as if we are more than a doctor and his patient. He also stops as Im walking out, making sure to say, "Oh, and I havent spoken to or contacted your mother, by the way."
I hadnt asked if he had. It was just out of the blue. After all his comments about how "mothers know" and "did you bump into her over the last few weeks," it has me worrying that he actually is talking to my mother somehow. Someone who hasnt done that and respects that I dont want contact with my abuser wouldnt obsess over us reconnecting, keep pushing for 5 straight appointments, and then drop something like "oh yeah, i havent done that by the way".
I am very concerned and will be filing a complaint when the clinic opens in the morning.I will be working with my PCP to find me a new gynecologist as soon as possible.
If Dr. Lawrence ever sees this; Youre a gynecologist, not a therapist or psychologist. If someone says no to you about reconnecting with someone thats abusive or alcoholic or a "crab apple" in your words, let it go. No means no. If they dont want that person in their life, respect that and back off. Just because you werent abused by your parents, that doesnt mean you know better than an abuse victim who was.
